


the torture of fantasy

by scandalouslesbians



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Angst, Black Mercy, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 04:53:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6940633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scandalouslesbians/pseuds/scandalouslesbians
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world can be cruel, the first time Alex meets the person she wants to be with it's under the cruel circumstances of a dream, a dream that could have killed her if she stayed.</p>
<p>The person she's supposed to be with when she wakes up is the wrong person, in every way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the torture of fantasy

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so the Black Mercy thing is here, and I know humans would probably not be able to survive it but this idea came to mind. Astra and Alex haven't met before this, they meet in the dream.

Exhaustion.

It takes a toll on her and all she wants to do is sleep. Sleeping is dangerous when she knows all the threats currently in the city. It takes over her when she most needs to be in control. She hates that sign of weakness - she'd trained her entire life to avoid being weak, but exhaustion was one thing she couldn't escape. 

Her body could only handle so much coffee.

It's one night when she's been sleep deprived for over a day. She's supposed to be be highly attentive to her surroundings after Kara comes out as Supergirl. Aliens of different species have been emerging out of every corner and the DEO could not identify their location. 

They understood that they needed to protect civilians from every alien that posed a threat to them, even if it meant being deprived of sleep. It was part of the job and everyone who took on the job knew what they were signing themselves up for. Caution was part of the job, and it didn't stop when they got home, they all knew that.

Tonight was the night Alex let the rule slip her mind as soon as the doors were locked, her eyes closed as she leaned back against the door. Exhaustion had gotten the better of her, always assisting Kara and doing her job began to take a toll on her and she needed a moment to herself.

As her eyes closed, she felt something slither down her chest but she ignored it - an insect crawling down her shoulders was the least of her worries. The weight began to become heavier than any insect so she reaches down to swat it away. A pain now tugs at her chest, it feels like it is suffocating her as her eyes finally flicker open to look at the creature.

As she gasps for air, her world fades to black.

-

Her eyes open and she's not in the apartment she remembers living in. It's a house, and it isn't the one she grew up in but it seems as if it belongs to her. There's the picture of her and Kara as kids on the nightstand beside her as she glances over. 

When her gaze drifts downward she notices that the night clothes are not the ones she normally falls asleep in. She checks the drawer of the nightstand and comes to find that her gun was not there. Although she was off duty, she had her own there for safety purposes. 

Her mind drifts away from where her normal home is as she tries to absorb where she currently is. She doesn't recognize it, but she feels at peace here like it is her home.

A knock brings her out of her thoughts and she takes a deep breath. She doesn't have her gun but that doesn't mean she can't be cautious, she checks through the peephole of the unfamiliar house.

A sigh of relief escapes her lips as she finds that is just Kara. When she opens the door, she sees that something different about her but there's a cheerful expression on her face.

"What's wrong? I thought you'd be happier to see me, you don't see me often anymore." Kara speaks as she waits for Alex to allow her to enter. 

Confusion etches her features once again that morning and she can't help but ask, "What do you mean? We see each other everyday." She states, like it is Kara who is confused about their life.

Bewilderment is now showing in her sister's eyes, and she almost looks hurt that Alex doesn't consider their time apart to be that long. "I mean of course I can fly here but, it's hard when we live across the country since you won't leave your career here."

"Career?" She considered the DEO her job, of course her dream had been to go into bio-engineering but now she couldn't imagine anything other than protecting Kara. 

"You know I never thought you'd ever be tired enough to forget you work with the alien DNA." A soft chuckle escapes Kara's lips, and somehow it relieves Alex because she's glad that the slight hurt that was there has disappeared. 

"I - just don't get how you're across the country. Is it safe?" It's the first thought that crosses her mind, with all the aliens constantly after Kara. It terrifies her.

"Why wouldn't it be? Humans can't hurt me, unless they have kryptonite, so until then I'm fine." She gives her a sister a reassuring smile. "You need coffee, don't you? I'll go get you some, I'll be back later."

Kara leaves to get her coffee and Alex tries to process everything that is happening.

\--

Sure her life now is stress free, but there's still a small tug saying that this isn't real. That part of her begins to fade because she assumes she's just in a dream and dreams are the only time she can relax.

After Kara leaves, someone reminds her that she has a dinner date with someone. It's hard to believe for her because in the real world she never has time for that and she doesn't care about it.

Her clothing choices are much more broad than she remembers but she doesn't care because this is one of the only times she can enjoy herself. Kara tells her to pick the darker dress. 

Though, it's still a black dress there is a hint of grey on the hem of her chest to contrast the color. It makes her feel confident for the first time even though she can't remember the last time she had a date.

The makeup she uses is light, her lips around their natural color but just a shade darker to give them a bit more of color. She doesn't plan on it smearing during this evening with it being a first date but at least if it does happen it won't be obvious. 

She sits at the agreed restaurant, and waits. Her gaze catches a woman who is sitting at the table by herself alone, she seems to be waiting for a someone as well. 

After she's ordered her own wine and the appetizers, she gets a text that her date isn't coming and she just sighs. It had been so long since her last date that she forgot that this was part of the dating life. 

Her eyes glance over to the woman at the other table from before, she realizes that she's still alone and hasn't ordered anything. Maybe the person she's waiting for is running a little late so Alex decides to leave it be and start on her appetizers. 

She eats a couple of the mozzarella sticks and awaits her meal. She doesn't like being stood up, but she does enjoy the opportunity to have food that takes more than five minutes to prepare. 

When she finally lets go of the anger, she takes a deep breath and -

her red wine is spilled across her lap. The anger returns at full force and she's read to rip the waiter's head off until she realizes it's the woman that she kept glancing over at. There are tears down her face and Alex's anger fades instantly. 

"I'm sorry - " The woman says, as she grabs a napkin to attempt to clean in. 

"It's fine." Alex says, she wants to ask the woman in front of her if she's alright but up close she's able to see the woman's beauty. It's like nothing she's ever seen before. 

"I'll pay for your dress and your meal - I should have -" Alex stops the woman and shakes her head, not worried about her dress. It's dark enough and she has plenty more in her closet, this one would be tainted with being stood up anyway. 

"Sit." It's a demand, but Alex says it in a gentle voice and the woman complies. There's a hardness to the woman's face behind the tears, she's obviously not used to being told what to do.

"I should have been paying attention, I'll pay for what you need - at least your meal. Emotional distress isn't a reason to ruin your night." The woman tucks the only white streak behind her ear as it emerges. Somehow Alex notices that it accents her eyes just right. 

"You weren't the one to do that, you shouldn't have to skip your meal either though." Alex knows the woman's date never arrived and that's probably why she was rushing out, she didn't seem to be in a hurry to leave her table either. 

"I wanted to move on from my lost husband, but the man did not show up like he agreed. The internet is not a promising place." The woman stated, confused. "I'm Astra." She states, her voice much lighter than it was when she apologizing to Alex.

"Alex." She states simply as she nods her head in acknowledgement, a small smile thrown in the other woman's way. 

"Did someone do the same to you?" The woman asks with a curious expression, maybe it's because she doesn't want to feel alone with being left.

"Yes." Alex agrees, as she dabs at the stain that has been forming for awhile.

Astra notices the motion and shakes her head, offering her hand as she stands up once again. "Let me help with that."

There's still a long while before her meal will get there and she decides that she won't be gone that long. She willingly takes the hand that's offered to her and follows the woman to the bathroom.

The napkin that the woman grabbed from the table is still in her hand and she runs it under cold water, and pulls Alex close enough where there's only a few inches of space between them.

Astra's focus is the stain, dabbing at it as carefully as she can without spreading throughout the dress. 

"You really don't have to do that." The agent states, painfully aware of the woman's close proximity to her as she feels the woman's warm breath on the exposed chest. 

"I don't make mistakes, Alex." It's the first time the name crosses her lips and it's as if she's trying to decide whether or not she likes the ring to it but she smiles. "With those I do make, I fix to the best of my ability. This is for me, not you."

Alex can't help but wonder if the woman is trying to get her mind off of the events tonight. The events of tonight are what make the brunette think that this life is real, because nothing this horrible would happen in just her dreams. 

As she's lost in her thoughts, she doesn't realize until the woman's hand is dabbing is pressed against her thigh how close Astra is. Her eyes close because there's something in that touch that makes her feel a way that she's always denied, her breath hitches in her throat. 

She can feel eyes on her as the woman applies a little more pressure. Her eyes open after she feels that she has composed herself and she sees that the woman is done dealing with the stain. Alex glances down to see if it's gone, and it's a mistake because when she looks back at the woman their noses graze against one another because they're standing so close to one another. 

It's the woman who closes the distance, their lips lightly brush against the other's at first before Alex deepens it to let the woman know she is more than okay with it. The other woman's arms wrap around her waist and her own hand reaches up to cup the woman's strong jawline. After a moment they part,

"You should have been my date." Alex breathes against her lips.

"Aren't I now?" Astra teases, before pressing another soft kiss across her lips once again.

-

That night, they return to eat their dinner. They let the other know the little things about the other and it goes so much better than Alex expected the original date to go. She doesn't want the night to end, but when it does numbers are exchanged and she can't stop smiling.

The smile does not stop the morning after, Kara is there at her door again. This time she isn't there with the cheerful expression that was there yesterday and she's crying. 

"Alex, you have to go. This isn't your home." The idea that this wasn't real disappeared last night so she shook her sister off.

"Yes it is, don't you have to be back home today?" Now she's confused, she remembered that she was supposed to fly back last night when everyone was asleep. 

Suddenly, Astra walks through the door and she can't fight the smile that emerges once again. She couldn't remember the last time another person made her feel something, let alone happy. 

Kara looks even more confused as Astra grabs her hand and mentions something about lunch, to which Alex nods. 

"Why is she here? You have to go home." The smaller Danvers sister has her tears full of pain and something in Alex knows that something is wrong even if she doesn't want to believe it. 

Kara always sees the bright side to things and she knows something is wrong when she sees her sisters tears. When she looks at Astra, there's a familiarity that is starting to register that she didn't see last night.

Something is off and she's afraid of what it was. "Go where?" Is all she can say, there's a disappointed look on Astra's face and she has to tear her eyes to stare at Kara, not at the woman who reminded her that she could smile last night.

"Please Alex, you have to see that this isn't real. I need you, as my sister." The desperation in her sister's voice lets her know that this is wrong but she looks at Astra and feels like there is something right about it.

"I'm not going anywhere." She promises, furrowing her brow. Alex had never abandoned Kara and that wouldn't change now. That's what makes her blink back to reality, as she glances at Astra. She sees Kara's deceased mother but she looks different here and it leaves her confused, but she knows it's wrong.

"I'm sorry." She says as she walks over to Astra and squeezes her hand, she doesn't want to let go because she doesn't think she'll find that instant connection the way she did with her.

\--

Her body is breaking out into spasms and she can't help but gasp for air as the familiar lights that make her squint and she just want to close her eyes and go back to where she was. A sigh escapes her lips as she is pushed to sit up, and she tries to focus on the faces all around her.

Arms are instantly around her and she can't help but groan at the pain from the tightness. "Kara, too tight." She reminds.

"Sorry." She lessens the tightness but doesn't let go. 

Alex pulls back a little and gives her a nod, "Thanks for bringing me back."

Her sister nods and gives her a smile through the tears that have fallen in distress of her.

"What happened?" Alex finally asks, she knows she's not fully coherent but she wants to try to understand while she can.

"Someone put a parasitic alien on you, so you'd have your fantasy life." Supergirl's brow furrows and there's a hesitancy that Alex can sense before she finally asks. "What was my aunt doing in your dream?"

The question hits her, because that's the part of the dream that she misses already and knows she shouldn't because this woman has been dead and it's wrong.

"Can we talk about it later?" The agent asks, she wants to blow it off for as long as she can because right now she doesn't understand it herself.

Kara nods and smiles, "You need your sleep, but when you wake up. I'll tell you about the person that put this on you."

Alex nods and lays back down, her eyes close and she lets herself to fall back into darkness. This time she knows she should be safe.

\--

When she wakes up, and gets enough food into her system she is taken to where the kryptonite cells are kept. Kara leads her in, "This is the person who made you decided to attack you." Her arms are crossed and Alex is confused at what she sees.

"You said your aunt was dead." She gulps, her hope had diminished for finding the woman the minute that she woke up because Kara grieved her aunt and not being able to see her before she left Krypton.

"I thought so too." There was a sad expression on Kara's face, but she masked it quickly as she stared at the glass containing the woman. 

"You're not as fragile as I predicted, agent." The woman laughs and something in Alex stiffens. That feeling she had in the dream grows because it's the same laugh she had in the dream. 

The reality is so much worse than being stuck in that dream.

**Author's Note:**

> This is intended to be a one-shot but I kind of like the idea so I may continue if anyone would like? Let me know


End file.
